Likeability & the Bible
A couple days ago, I wrote on being more likeable. Interestingly, these are also characteristics promoted in the Bible.
Here are the ten along with some selected Bible verses:
- Be honest.
Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth. Proverbs 16:13
- Be humble.
Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4
- Show empathy.
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8
- Laugh often.
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22
- Be positive.
All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15
- Control hostility.
For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:20
- Be polite.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12
- Act smart.
Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. Proverbs 17:28
- Appear attractive.
You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:4
- Listen more.
Share on FacebookMy dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19
Likeability
Are you likeable? Do you come off to most as a complete douche? I am not talking about your core friends because the old verbage, to an extent, is true "you are who you hang out with". I am talking about how the new acquiantance or how your 'social persona' is judged by people who do not ordinarily hang out with you. Do people not hang out with you for some reason?
I want to be liked by all but I know that won't happen. People will not like you for the most irrelevant reason. My mom use to ask who my close friends were and from them she could understand who you are/would be as a person. It is crazy how much of an impact your friends have on your life, habits, decisions. Really, your friends make up who you are.
Back to likeability, likeable people meet more people, have more friends, do more things.
The Harvard Business Review conducted a study to determine who people would hire: the lovable fool or the competent jerk. Here’s what they found:
In most cases, people choose their work partners according to two criteria. One is competence at the job. The other is likeability. Ask managers about this choice and you’ll often hear them say that when it comes to getting a job done, competence trumps likeability. But despite what such people might say about their preferences, the reverse turned out to be true in practice in the organizations we analyzed.
“We found that if someone is strongly disliked, it's almost irrelevant whether or not she is competent; people won't want to work with her anyway. By contrast, if someone is liked, his colleagues will seek out every little bit of competence he has to offer. Generally speaking, a little extra likeability goes a longer way than a little extra competence in making someone desirable to work with.”
So if you can enhance your performance – and, as we’ve learned, your pay as well – by being more likeable, then that begs the question – how can you become more likeable?
Here is the article from William Cottringer, a Ph.D., business consultant, college teacher, sport psychologist and writer. He lists the ten main groups of behaviors that make a person likeable.
Here are the ten:
- Be honest.
- Be humble.
- Show empathy.
- Laugh often.
- Be positive.
- Control hostility.
- Be polite.
- Act smart.
- Appear attractive.
- Listen more.
What do you look for in a person that you like?
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